The Obligatory

 Dirty Deets

Alrighhtttt. Of course, the first post in a blog always seems a bit *awkward.*. Trying to find my niche, while also giving background into my life seems like something that just doesn't fit together. Have to start somewhere, though. I must warn you all now - My entire life is one huge mess(as I'm sure this post will be). I don't expect you guys to retain anything that is said in these first couple posts. I wouldn't even be mad if you skipped them, but I'm not going to. So, lets dive in.

As I just said, "My entire life is one huge mess.' And that is not a hyperbole - It is quite literally on fire. From the time I was able to retain memory my life has been a walking circus. But I won't absolutely over do it by going into my toddler years with you just yet. Those may come out at a later date, who knows. For now It seems appropriate to go ahead and start with the arrival of my first child. My precious, stubborn, bratty but beautiful little girl. I remember sitting in my Sophomore History Class coming to the realization that I was well over due for the visit of aunt flow. Yes, you read that right. Sophomore. 15 years old and pregnant. Was too young to even be on MTV, apparently. 

 I was terrified, obviously. But not even at the thought of being a mother. That didn't scare me at all. I was scared of my peers finding out, because that meant all the boys I had crushed on would no longer flirt with me. I was scared of my Cheer coaches finding out, because they wouldn't let me stunt anymore. I was scared of all the wrong things. The only thing that made since for me to be afraid of was the fact I thought my mother would try to talk me into aborting the baby, and I knew with every ounce of my being that wasn't an option for me. Add all those worries together, and how would any one expect me to out myself to the world?

 So I didn't, for over half of my pregnancy. 

My first Dr's appointment I was 22 weeks. We found out she was a girl and could already tell she had my nose. It was at that point I began to worry about HER rather than my 'status' with anyone at school. And no matter how bad she makes me want to choke her sometimes, I am forever grateful for such a big blessing. 

Being a teen mother is hard, heck being a young mother is hard. But I was one of the lucky ones who had an amazing support system. I finished out high-school with a GPA of 4.2, with my 2 year old right next to me. ❤ 

The years that followed directly after high school didn't consist of anything too exciting. I got accepted at the college I had dreamed of going to since I was a little girl - then dropped out after two months. I maintained a job at a local fast food chain and stayed home with daughter. Luckily for me, my bestfriend since middle school had her daughter 6 short months after me, and her and my daughter became inseparable. Not as if they had a choice, though. 

I moved into my first apartment not long after graduation. My first night there, one of my guy friends came over with another one of his good friends. We ended up hitting it off, and I asked if he'd like to stay over that night. He accepted. And then just never left. One night stand turned live in boyfriend. 

It went really well in the beginning, as it always does. So well that we started getting reckless. Blame it on the love cloud my head was in. We found out very early on in our relationship that I was pregnant. Our baby boy made his appearance before we even celebrated our one year anniversary. While obviously not the ideal situation, our dude is the sweetest, most loving, and absolutely adorable little boy that I could ever ask for.

 Plus him and I kinda kick co-parentings ass. 

Now I have two amazing kiddos, who make me want to rip my hair out a majority of the time, but that I wouldn't trade for anything.